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Paul Blart: Mall Cop

Year: 2009
Studio: Columbia
Director: Steve Carr
Producer: Kevin James
Writer: Kevin James
Cast: Kevin James
This inexplicable box office smash is – as you've surmised from the trailer – a comedy version of Die Hard and an attempt (successful, it now sadly seems) to install Kevin James as a bona fide comic star by giving his own 90 minute The Kevin James Show.

He plays an overly officious shopping mall security guard who happens to be the last one inside when a band of inventive credit card robbers with a strange taste for skateboards and BMX bikes and superhuman jumping ability take over on the busiest shopping day of the year.

Do I really need to tell you the rest about how the hair extension storeowner and object of his affection is among the hostages or how he saves the day?

Worth a few chuckles at James' expense, though you saw most of them in the trailer as well. Less a plot than a tenuous excuse to string lame jokes together.

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