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Slugs

Year: 1988
Production Co: Dister Group
Director: JP Simon
Producer: JP Simon
Writer: JP Simon

From the opening scene you know what you're in for. The guy and his girlfriend are fishing in the middle of a lake and she's bored. She wants to go swimming and as she whines about it he takes off his hat, flops it far too lightly onto the deck to look angry and says 'that's what I said, darn it', in a voice that sounds like it was badly redubbed in ADR.

Yes, in case the title or the premise didn't convince you, Slugs is schlock of the highest order. The novel by Shaun Hutson it's based on is actually pretty cool, but how any director thought he could make slugs an effective horror antagonist is as funny as the end result.

The only time they're any kind of threat is in huge volumes (thanks to dependable old toxic waste), but surely when faced with a creature that moves slower than a George A Romero zombie you just dawdle off. Even though the toxic waste has inexplicably given them a taste for human flesh, I mean... they're slugs for God's sake!

Thankfully the multitalented auteur writer/director/producer who put it together has thought of that too. These slugs (giant, of course) not only have mouths and teeth that bite, they have the uncanny knack of sneaking en masse into a room to lie in wait for victims.

Town sanitation engineer and hero Mike Brady (a Brady Bunch in joke of some sort?) has to team up with the sewer system expert and the silliest caricature ever of an egghead scientist to cook up the secret formula to combat the menace while the slimy black nasties pick off one townsperson after another in increasingly hilarious circumstances.

Everyone tries to play it straight but the script is awful (there are even a few flubbed lines left intact) and the dramatic music whenever a car pulls up and the overly motivated characters pile out I expected a porn-tached newsreader to come on and say 'welcome to channel three action news Milwaukee.'

But that's only the stuff that pleasantly surprises you. The premise alone is so comical it's an automatic late night hoot.

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