I watched The Crying Game for the second time because I was always mindful that I'd missed the point. I remember being mostly bored during the second half because I was expecting an IRA drama full of gunplay, and suddenly I was watching a protracted story about a guy falling in love with a transvestite.

Yes, that's a spoiler. Is there anyone on Earth who doesn't know it? It's got to be the sucker punch movie twist to end all, so if you didn't know it, you're frankly reading the wrong website. Go back to macrame or clay pigeon shooting or whatever takes your fancy.

When IRA footsoldier Fergus (Rea) is watching guard over Jody (Whitaker), the British soldier he and his crew have captured, the blokey soldier gets under his skin and the two become friends despite Fergus' resistance.

After Jody, the hideout and most of Fergus' cohorts are killed in the rescue operation that descends the morning Fergus is ordered to kill his captive, he escapes into the forest, eventually finding his way to England under an assumed identity to fulfil his promise to his dead friend – watch over his girlfriend Dil.

When Fergus tracks down the gorgeous, seemingly very female hairdresser (Davidson), he does more than check in on her, he starts to fall in love with her until the infamous scene where things turn physical and Fergus is met with cinema's most unexpected penis.

Despite his disgust, Fergus can't ignore Dil's pleas – it's obvious the pair are in love, so surely it makes no difference what the equipment.

As he grapples with his sexual identity in the face of being so drawn to the now very male Dil, things turn serious for Fergus when his fearsome bosses turn up, very much alive. If Fergus doesn't do one more job on a prominent judge, they tell him, they'll kill his new girlfriend.

It all goes a bit wobbly and off track towards the end with Fergus waking up tied to the bed when he's supposed to be off killing the judge, Dil letting him cut her hair off and dressing up in Jody's cricket whites, etc, but the plot was a little easier to understand this time around.

It still gets very long in the tooth during the final quarter before the ambush scene, and the bloody violence that springs forth is almost as shocking as the errant appendage.

It was a bit of a potboiler for Jordan, and he does sumptuous passion much better, as you can see in Interview With the Vampire.