Made of Honour

Year: 2008
Studio: Columbia Pictures
Director: Paul Weiland
Producer: Neal H Moritz
Cast: Patrick Dempsey, Michelle Monaghan, Sydney Pollack
I'm not Scottish and even I was offended by the caricatures or kilts, castles besides Lochs, rich families owning whiskey distilleries, haggis and tall, robust men with red hair. If the third wheel in this story had been an Australian he would have been a Dri-za-bone wearing drover, Spanish and he would have been a bullfighter. It's crap like this that further cements America's ignorant attitude of the rest of the world.

That's the end of that rant, and the reason I decided to kick this review off with it is because it's the most interesting thing about this incredibly uninspiring movie.

Michelle Monaghan goes all Katherine Heigl in 27 Dresses (a producer and agent-directed vanity project with no creative merit but simply an exercise to galvanise a celebrity persona) in a bland role in a bland movie.

And most of the blandness is thanks to Patrick Dempsey, a personality-free zone so devoid of charisma it was like watching a film about a piece of cardboard. The screenwriter's fantasy of a single guy's life - where beautiful women in coffee shops 'accidentally' take your coffee so they can write their number on it before giving it back to you - is ridiculous enough, but how any woman could be so uncontrollably attracted to a hatstand like Dempsey is the biggest conceit of the movie.

The story plays like it was devised by scriptwriting software. Player has friendship with beautiful woman, realises when she's away that he really loves her, she comes back engaged to someone much better, he has to do everything to stop the wedding. Get the idea? You probably get the entire plot from that description too. Even his infantile buddies might as well have been called Mr Plot Device 1, 2 and 3, except that they had no more life than he did.

It's a romantic comedy devoid of laughs or believable romance but so straight down the line you're just wishing for a car crash. Nobody else need even answer for it, but Monaghan should hang a head more talented than this in shame.

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