Bitch Slap

Year: 2009
Production Co: Bombshell Pictures
Director: Rick Jacobson
Producer: Rick Jacobson
Writer: Rick Jacobson
Cast: Julia Voth, Erin Cummings, America Olivo, Kevin Sorbo, Lucy Lawless

What more do you need to know? Like Snakes on a Plane, the only real danger in this B movie schlockfest was that the one-joke title would run out of steam half an hour in.

Thankfully they employed a screenwriter somewhere along the way rather than just a soft porn cameraman, and an elaborate sting is revealed layer by layer via flashbacks that look further back into the past of what appears to be a drug or weapons deal in the making.

A car pulls up in the desert near an abandoned trailer and three smoking hot girls climb out, opening the boot to reveal a profane, half-dressed cockney git who's apparently the lynchpin of the scheme.

But the stripper, businesswomen and former criminal all had roles to play in the set-up – as we see from the flashbacks – and their allegiances with each other shift as much as the sand they're digging through searching for their prize.

It doesn't scrimp too much on the flesh (including a very erotic lesbian scene) or on the blood and violence – the final scrap between Hel (Cummings – no word on whether that's her real name) and Camero (Olivo) is among the nastiest and longest you'll have seen on screen.

As for the final reveal, keep in mind the first rule of movie mystery and you'll guess it long before it appears. It's always who you least expect.

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