The Spy Next Door

Director: Brian Levant

Besides there being something genuinely creepy about Jackie Chan playing the romantic lead and kissing the hot girl, he should know where his strength lies, and that's when he open a can of his trademarked whup-ass.

He's a spy posing as a pen salesman who's dating the woman next door (Valetta) but who doesn't want to get too serious, knowing her kids hate him for being such a nerd.

But when he retires and his work follows him home (now here have I seen that before? Only in EVERY FUCKING SPY MOVIE EVER), he has to protect the kids from a gang of Russian mobsters whose accents are far more dangerous than their martial arts, winning them over but losing the trust of his lady love to save the day.

Though he can be funny, clowning for the camera Jim Carrey-style has never been Chan's forte. Next time Jackie, do us all a favour, save the yawns and take down your enemies with fists and props instead of one-liners. Like far too many of his films of late, the gag reel at the end is funnier than anything in the movie.

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